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Thursday, August 25, 2016.
The Radiance of the Far Future



I've GRADUATED! YAY!

So, I just had my convocation on the 20th August and it has been satisfying! Personally, I feel more happy than sad - that I got a degree. Because basically I'm still a Master's student here so I'm not going anywhere. 

My diploma graduation sucks - it was in the evening - I had to leave early so no picture time with friends - my performance during diploma was not as good as degree I tell you. I remember telling my father "I didn't know how to study during my diploma days - only now I do." he laughed although I was serious. I'm not one of those lucky people with naturally smart brains and naturally organised. I trained everything from top to bottom to deserve everything that I get for my degree performance. Probably because I've been rewarded heaps of time for doing good - I feel motivated and happy. Maybe this graduation feels a little more significant. Because it meant something.



Thanks to a friend everything was hectic that day. I was in campus at 6:30 AM but I could not make it on time still! By the time it was 7.30 AM, we arrived at the parking area (it was so far! and I could not park anywhere else) and had to walk with our heels like, 3km to the hall. I arrived, sweating with half of the makeup down my face. I was ticked off that I had to be late because of someone else (I really just despise that) - but it was convocation so, I decided to let it go.

However, by the end of the day - everything went well. I even had ample time to take photos this time - my father took them beautifully. I guess being late does make it more memorable? That's all for now :)

The shawl and the dress, I bought them the day before. Because I have been so busy with my studies and work - I did not have the time. But thank god this was ample for my taste :)



written @ 12:59 AM



.
I believed in just believing


One of my favourite lecturer - Dr. Chen. 

I received an email that I have been a recepient of the Majlis Anugerah Industri Graduan Cemerlang 2016 UNITEN on the 18th of  August, without knowing exactly what on earth it is. I asked the university but they only gave me vague answers. However, on the day of the ceremony itself, I finally got my answers. I was awarded Outstanding Bachelor of Information Technology (Graphics and Multimedia) Undergraduate, sponsored by UZMA Berhad (yes, that means with $$). 

Basically selected students from each programmes were rewarded their own awards sponsored by companies that chose too. Some got from TnB, some got from TAZU, as for me I got from UZMA. There was a mention during the speech session that it was based on both academic and curricular - but I really think it was up to the company which students they wanted to sponsor ( I was not actually paying attention at that time, sorry haa).

We had a little bit of talk with our sponsors - exchanged contacts. I just had lunch with them today too.

Nonetheless, it was a recognition. The final award I achieved from my degree programme is the most prestigious.  It would have not been made possible I for all the untold stories of struggle, bloodsweat and effort that I put for my degree performance. The unheard prayers from my family too. It feels great to be honored, and hard work pays off - eventually.


I'm in a state of poverty after I decided to not rely fully on my parents and started earning my own money - and truth be told, my current job + masters - is not doing me justice. I spent most of my money on fuel and tol money. But at the same time, these little cash rewards I get from my degree performance helped me - a lot. Yes, I paid a lot for my education in Uniten, Yes, I sacrifice more than just sleep to get good grades, Yes, I gave up going home too often - and I might not find it worth it back then - but it's definitely worth it now.

written @ 12:18 AM



Saturday, July 9, 2016.
Happy Eid ul Fitr


Hello there everyone, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin. So my raya was pretty short, I spent one day in KL with my family - and relatives before heading back home that evevning as my sister is working the 2nd day of raya. I've experience giving my very small batch of duit raya (hey, I only got 11 days pay) and well, yeah - not as satisfying as getting them I have to say. 

Well, not much preparation or thought was given in celebrating raya because I was working - I bought one formal baju raya (and initially it was not intended to be a baju raya) - I genuinely just didnt have the time or energy. I'm still adapting to work - it's not yet an "enjoyable" experience because of my inefficiency I have to say. I'm not just going to give up ofcourse - I'm still adapting and I've only been working for two weeks - so it's still oh so early to say.


So my baju raya was - well, pretty me. all black - nothing intricate on the design, no bling2. I wore the same and only pair of heels I own since 3 years ago and some random tudung I borrowed from my aunt. The whole outfit itself were bought seperately - the top I bought it with a friend even before Ramadhan - with the intention of wearing it with jeans but I ended up feeling it being too fancy to be worn casually. Then my family came to KL and while my sisters were all looking for their baju raya I just got the skirt randomly.I really didn't put too much effort in my outfit but it's not like I ever did. I mean, I didn't even buy raya shoes.

I did however - put more effort on my makeup. See, I've been earning some money lately and I have been obsessed with Anna Sui's cosmetics. When I was still in school - I thought they're the loveliest looking cosmetics ever but I never really buy them because - well, I don't have money really. Even when I have money, I would just buy the makeup from the drugstore. But I think the first thing I bought from Anna Sui was their lipstick and it was 2-3 years ago and it was so satisfying to use, to smell (they're rose-scented) and to just look (the packaging is 100% my style) and afterwards I bought a couple of lipsticks from them again - then blush - then I went to Japan to buy their loose powder (because it was cheaper there) and then I just went nuts. I own their bb cream, foundation, primer - urgh. and I don't feel bad - I wanted it since forever, they're high quality, and I used my own money. I know not a lot of people are using Anna Sui but I do, my sisters do as well - my older sister who's not a makeup wearer loves their cosmetics as well and I'm just happy with it. I also got some personal messages for their reviews (which is weird because - I'm no makeup guru) but we'll see if I'll talk about them (I just don't like talking about stuff that I use publicly)


So now about my job - I'm currently working as a graphic designer for a merchandise printing company. basically it's bulk-printing on items for other companies and it's tougher than it sounds. Language barriers - insufficient introduction and training to my tasks and assignments - my own inefficiency in adapting as fast as I could are just some of the challenges I'm facing. But it is still very early to say. They have expectations on me - so as I on them. Time is another thing I am worried about - it seems like most of my colleagues are unaware that my priority is my studies - and there are days I have to leave early and they just don't get it. This is another problem when you made deal with the boss and not the workmates. It's just an unnecessary stress. but again, - it's still very early so I will not judge them.

So that's all for now. enjoy your remaining raya ;)
written @ 1:07 AM



Sunday, June 12, 2016.
Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the morrow


Look at my mini me!

I know I have been betraying my "I'll blog more from now on" statement - but I really cannot help it. At all. First, when I started writing, it's usually because I feel like I want to tell someone but at the same time I don't want people to know about it. And usually I will always feel better after writing a full post - and ended up deciding that it was too personal (for me) to be posted - I rather not having anyone knowing about it and saved it as a draft. I'm sorry but if we're talking personal I rather talk to my mother or not talk about it at all. Personal information is very dear to me now, I don't treat it like a short story in a compilation book.

Anyhow - as all of you already know, I have just started masters. This has only been only my second week though - but I feel like it's my third month because time has moved very slow. Not only I'm in a very tight budget - my car decided to be sick - some sort of problem during my registration and etc, but hey, I am still alive. So the first week was very much - well, nothing. I only had one day of "orientation" , and only one day of class for the whole week (next semester - no class!hurrah). What I did basically was just applying for jobs - watch movies - trying to get my car get his(yes, my car's a male) shit together and etc.


I am so glad I have someone I know taking masters with me! Everyone was so mature and I felt like such a baby. 

So I have met with my supervisor, I attended my class for two weeks now, I attended two job interviews and life is just beginning to start pacing up again. Currently I am just commencing on my research - like, I'm re-reading some of my previous findings and finding new ones. The things about finding research papers is that the access is soooo limited. When you find the one you want to read - hey, it's 30 bucks. It does not help that I'm freaking broke (thanks to my car). But I am trying my best - I'm so glad I actually have stuff to do now.

Other than that.. I'M HIRED! I was getting worried because I applied so so many places and after a week only one shortliest me for an interview. The first job interview was intimidating - the founder of the company could not understand why I wanted a job in Animation while I'm doing my masters in IT - ticked me off a bit really. I will not go into details because I really don't wish to talk bad about a company I'm not even working for.

The second job interview was so so sudden, I got a call 30 minutes before my scheduled meeting. I rushed there and I was so glad the environment was way better. You know, you just step into a company's office to know what kind of environment you're getting into. I mean, who wants to work in a company with a negative environment with such demanding commitment right? Anyhow, this time, the interviewer was so much comprehensive of the fact that I am doing my Masters, asked me relevant questions and gave off a good vibe. The kind that is a leader - not a boss, you know. I was ambushed by a surprise test to use two designing softwares and one photography evaluation. I mean, I got the call 30 minutes before the interview - I obviously did not prepare anything at all, However, I managed to pull through - I could have done better but I guess it was ample since the next day they immediately told me I got the job and my test results were more than satisfactory, heheh. Ofcourse, I accepted it ASAP, who wouldn't. Commitment was not as demanding, they even pay more than my expected salary and have a more positive environment compared to the first company. They were kind enough to give me a flexible schedule for me to have time for my masters. Alhamdulillah, I was so happy, I was getting a little worried but I have to blame myself because I was impatient.

That's that, and I also got an email the next day that I have been rewarded by Tabung Amanah Zakat Uniten (TAZU) with some $$ for getting more than CGPA of 3.75 for two semesters in a row. I got rewarded last year as well - but I think I was too busy to talk about it. Alhamdulillah once more, I could not be more grateful.

Truth be told, I was feeling a bit down after a couple of incident this week, I lost so much money, I feel horribly guilty that my parents still provide me money - then my aunt, I did not go out - I did not buy all those "comfot food", I feel so underfed, I haven't felt so hungry for a while (I miss my mom's cooking!), I did not go out, I kept thinking about the future, and maybe because it's fasting season I got a little more feelings than I usually would - I convinced myself that everything were just obstacles of Ramadhan and I just let it all go - accept; redha, you know. And right after that redha point - notifications of my upcoming rewards came continuously - first the job, second the TAZU, third - well, nothing I'm going to state here (no, nothing related with being in love) and I just feel very appreciative. It pays when you calm down and just accept and remember that all obstacles on par with your tolerance.

\
The beautiful rainbow on last wednesday! "After rain comes the rainbow" for sure!

So that really is just about it really - for now. I think I'll try and blog about a couple more things before I start working soon? we'll see - I can't promise because I have some researches to do. Till then, and happy fasting!

written @ 12:28 AM



Sunday, May 15, 2016.
the path you can run without looking back


zzzzz


Hello there.

So it has been quite a while, has it not? I just said like, more than one month ago I would post more on my blog but it just did not happen.

Why? because life happens.

I got an email from my university, offering a fast distribution of offer letters for returning students to continue doing masters. The reason the offer was available is so that we can be in time to apply for this scholarship with the last day of application being the 30th of April. So what did I do? I decided to proceed with masters faster than I have planned. continuing masters is one of the things that I have plan for myself - but simply was ignorant of the whole application process. I thought it will be just like applying for diploma or degree admission but it was not.

To proceed for a place to do master, I have to find a supervisor on my own and have him approve a proposal for my master's project title. again, with ignorance, I thought it'd be like, a week's work or something - but it's not like that. Luckily enough that I already have a supervisor that is more than happy to be my supervisor, he made things easier. he said that normal proposal, a timespan of three months taken just to come up with a suitable title alone (exclusive of the proposal). In some crazy way and strength, I've managed to get a proposal done less than a month, and approved. 

It was definitely far from a walk in the park. I remember just reading six research papers a day and my head felt so heavy at all the information I had to retain. It was mentally exhausting. The day after I got my proposal to be approved I slept for 12 hours. And I usually only sleep 3 - 5 hours daily.

So now I am back at home, for three weeks already (I think). I will start my masters this 22nd, and I feel like life just move so fast. I was just home, I just said goodbye to my friends, I did not in particularly want to return to my former college - despite loving my degree experience there. However, I did'nt want to wait at the same time. For now, I still have some sort of energy and fortitude that are driven by my ephemeral youth. I don't know how long can I last or have this energy if i were to slow things down. Plus, I wish to continue till phd - but it's something that I can either do later in life. A masters is something I just have to get, because I plan to teach.

So that's all for my life update. I'm trying to really just enjoy my last week at home before I exhaust myself with the next level of education.

written @ 10:49 PM



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