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Saturday, January 23, 2016.
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

you've been missing me, I can tell ;)

1) I did write like - a three paragraph essay explaining why some things happen - but it was just too long and you know what. It's none of anyone's business. One day during my internship - when I was having lunch - led me to a few decisions. there, easy.

2) Deleting twitter was probably the best decision I've made. I pay more attention to the real world, I expose less unnecessary stuff about myself and I actually do more work. I've ALWAYS came across people saying they know something about me because they read my tweets. Now, just because you feel like no one really reads your tweets - they do. and they remember. It's really not serious or anything. It's more of like "You went to xxx." "How'd you know?" "I read your tweets" - stuff like that. so, No. I no longer need twitter - I go to places without people knowing - I don't speak my mind on twitter anymore and now people can barely track me. muahahah

3) Deleting photos on instagram - there was this one day I just don't want to see my own face on the site (I didn't just deleted photos on instagram - I deleted it even on facebook/set it to private).  It was more of a rehabilitation for me to control my usage of social media. I uninstalled instagram from my phone for 2 weeks - and i manage to control it now. a bit. maybe i need to try to uninstall it for a month next time.

4) Deleting my blog post. It's hard to tell you this but... it was an accident. I was just cleaning up some unnecessary posts (I still had posts with pictures of me without tudung, when I was in previous relationships) and when I've finished marking all the post I want - I pressed "DELETE ALL POST" and absent mindedly clear up EVERYTHING. It's sad that I've had this blog since I was 17 years old, and I deleted some posts before already now i basically deleted everything. Maybe it's a sign anyways. so all hail new posts.

Now? I'm still unhappy. I still want to be off social media - at least instagram. I feel like most posts are quite meaningless and I didnt think much about it before posting. But I'd still very much love to keep my blog. because I actually WRITE and RECALL stuff. It's meaningful. I think before i write, I re-read before I post (well, sometimes) but nonetheless it took time and effort.

For now, this is just what I think - nothing fixed, nothing definite. Anything can change in the future.

Maybe one day, Sayonara!

written @ 12:48 AM

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